Saturday, December 17, 2022
I was blessed to have Carm as a friend since kindergarten at Saint John’s. We remained close through high school and college, getting together to play cards and board games, watch movies or just sit around talking and telling jokes and funny stories until all hours of the night, having a great time. Even though we didn’t see much of each other after I left Olean, we’d touch base on the phone. As our lives got busy with work and children, it was sometimes a long time between calls, but we were always able to pick right back up where we left off. I think of him often and I doubt that will ever change.
Carm was the most consistent person I’ve known. As an adult he kept all the great qualities he had as a little kid. He was always kind, friendly, honest, loyal, intelligent, hardworking and humble. He treated everyone with respect and kindness. As we got older I appreciated all these qualities and many more.
He was also a great listener. In high school and college especially, Carm could absorb a lot of “unloading” about life from myself and others. He had a gift of not complaining about what might be bothering him. What a great example! He was often able to put things into perspective… or sometimes confirm that your gripes were justified. Carm never gossiped, wasn’t judgmental and was always quick to forgive. The world could learn a lot from his approach to life.
Carm was so modest. Despite having 13 years of schooling together, I can’t recall ever outscoring him on a single test, yet he’d always say, “Yeah, that was a tough one!” Well, it was for me, but it didn’t seem to tax Carm so much. He’d always be the last student to hand in a test, carefully triple- and quadruple-checking his answers at the teacher’s desk in the final seconds before the bell rang. Attention to detail was important to Carm, and it showed in many aspects of his life.
His modesty led to some amazing discoveries over the years. In high school we were playing board games in his basement, and there were some old chairs in various states of renovation. I asked about them, and Carm said he was refinishing them. Shocker! I never saw Carm in a shop class. He already knew all those skills apparently. He had passed all those rudimentary tasks ages ago and was restoring these gorgeous chairs, making them look better than new. Later in life he showed me all sorts of drywall installation tricks he knew for making arched entryways. Wow!
Carm loved a good laugh and adored his family. He was proud of Maria and would always tell me of her accomplishments during our calls, but he never bragged.
The world would be a much better place if there were more people like Carm. He was an amazing person and will be greatly missed.
